Things To Do With Your Drugs Other Than Use Them
Want to quit using drugs but not sure what to do with all those drugs? Here are some ideas:
• Use them as inspiration for a collection of “single experience fragrances,” a la the early days of Demeter cologne. They haven’t released “Weed Jar” or “Ground Adderall,” last time I checked.
• Paint your pills to look like tiny, pill-shaped foods for Barbies.
• Put them in a box marked “SECRET BOX: DO NOT OPEN” and leave it out for your roommates to see. They’ll be like, “Oh, at least it’s not weird sex/witchcraft stuff” when they inevitably peek.
• Get a white photo backdrop and take pictures of them all to use in WANTED signs that will make them look like real bad guys.
• Freeze them in amber for citizens of the future. Or just wear them like a stone around your neck.
• Tie them to a metronome and hide them in the wall of your apartment right before you move out. The next tenant will get a “Tell-Tale Heart” experience that will leave them confused about what the universe is trying to tell them about their own drug use.
• Attempt to blend them with their respective apparati and record it for one of those blendy blogs or at least YouTube.
• Plant them in the drawer of the sibling you are certain your parents love most.
• Wax them into a candle and sell it at The Renassaince Fair.
• Use them to make a 3-D infographic about depression levels in America.
• Use them to make a portrait of Jesus and feel all ironic about it.
Photo by Deborah Leigh (Migraine Chick)
