Unspoken Guidelines for Making “Women’s Comedy”

1. Amp up the laugh track (er, live studio audience)
People aren’t yet sure what to do when watching a women’s comedy. Should they cry? Paint their nails? Do a sun salutation? Actually, the proper response is laughter, so it’s important to remind viewers of this by forcing your live, studio audience to guffaw at every line of dialogue.

2. Each episode’s script must include the word orgasm, or creative synonyms for orgasm, at least 30 times
Dialogue is important in women’s comedy. What do women talk about behind closed doors? Orgasms of course. It’s totally common for two sisters to give one another tips for reaching orgasm while picking at a balsamic salad. In fact, according to studies, women mostly just watch comedies for tips on orgams, and the faking of them.

3. Break ground by dealing with “the p word”
Poop, that is. Women’s comedy has reached edgy new heights now that women have slowly begun to admit that they do indeed poop. Find creative ways to bring this into every episode. Is one woman afraid to poop while her husband is in the house? This is funny. It has to be or we have no other ideas.

4. Package your comedy in a girly way
Women need more incentive to watch something than just “it being funny.” Instead, you need to turn your comedy into a social event, a time for girls to grab a bottle of wine and sit on the couch together, chit-chatting during a message from your sponsor. Maybe call it “Makeover Night” or something that girls probably do together. “Slumber Party Friday!”

5. Have one character who isn’t obsessed with marriage
This will make your comedy feel truly progressive, resonating with a new breed of Gen Y viewer who is on the Internet throughout your whole show, watching music video clips YouTube, chatting with three of her “friends with benefits” at once. The other characters should range from engaged to babied.

-Becky Lang has been watching too much of NBC’s “Wednesday Happy Hour”