Realities of Working From Home That I Refuse to Accept
Reality: There is a relationship between the amount I spend on a computer and how fast it is. What I prefer to believe: “RAM” is an imaginary thing dreamed up by computer manufacturers to steal money from us. If my applications are slow to load and my OS crashes, that probably has something to do with Russian spammers, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I can go ahead and spend that $300 on something else I want.
Reality: Using the Internet to complain about annoying things people do will not make people any less likely to do them. What I prefer to believe: If I tweet about people taking too many pictures of their food, none of my followers will ever take pictures of their food again—and they’ll spread the world to everyone else alive, so that takes care of that. Even if it doesn’t quite work that way, surely everyone will be amused by my tweet about people who take too many pictures of their food, or at least they’ll appreciate knowing what’s going on in my life.
Reality: I have to prioritize work tasks: I can’t just respond to e-mails in the order they were received. What I prefer to believe: That e-mail about investigating whether my company should have a Pinterest presence came three full days before the e-mail about my boss being locked out and needing someone to go to the office and let him in, so it’s obvious what the more urgent task is here.
Reality: If I don’t do anything about it, I will still be in my pajamas at 5 PM. What I prefer to believe: If I just wait long enough, at some point over the course of the day someone will come and build a Pee-Wee’s-Big-Adventure-style Rube Goldberg device to clothe, bathe, and feed me.
Reality: Blogging does not pay my rent. What I prefer to believe: This is my real job. My actual work tasks? Those are just favors I do for the people who choose to thank me twice a month by handing me checks.
(Source: thetangential.com)
