Advice for Young Writers
1. Buzz off all of your hair or tie it back into a sleek bun. Hair will only fall into your eyes and get in your way. And it makes you look weak.
2. Subsist only on white foods. Cauliflower. Crackers. Flour mixed with water. No cottage cheese allowed. Are you a baby? Train your body to survive on blandness. That will make you ready.
3. Eliminate all friends and family. They will just distract you with their petty drama. Smash your phone with a rock.
4. Plunge your hands into barrels of rice, beans and grains to make them stronger. Go to the market and plunge them into as many barrels as you can find. Do not treat them with lotion. Do not baby them. This is life.
5. Learn to smash objects with your head. This will teach you clarity and focus.
6. Don’t take your anger out on your enemies, of which you will have armies worth. Instead, buy 5 mangos and hang them from the ceiling. Smash them one at a time with your knife hands.
7. Before a work session, run at least 3 miles. Do not be afraid to make yourself vomit. You are living to the extreme.
(All tips also apply to being a master martial artist. This post was inspired by this.)
