Axe Me Anything – A Bottle of Axe Answers Your Hardest Questions
Dear Axe, My boyfriend told me I’m not putting serious effort into our relationship. I think I am and don’t know how to improve. What do I do? – Anonymous
Afraid to SWEAT for your ‘relaish?’ Try putting your mouth somewhere unexpected and tell him you <3 the FRESH scent of Lynx Blue Ice mixed w/ his ’phremones.’
What is the meaning of life? - easypeasy-livingbreezy
To DROP a MOVEMENT on reality that helps bros get face-time – if ya know what I mean – with the ladies to spread the human race for years 2 come!
To which social contract theory do you prescribe – that of Locke, or that of Hobbes? - lamblings
Hard 2 say cuz Locke is a SWEET bald dude pimipin’ hardcore on a mystical island and Hoobes is a cat, can’t argue with THAT!
I’ve fallen madly in love very quickly, should I just let it happen or try and slow myself down? - doccit
Bro/Brotina, if you found someone who makes your <3 do KICKFLIPS inside your chest and your pits sweat hardcore with animalistic chemicals, just spray on some limited-edition CIAO deodorant and dive in!!!!
As a lesbian, why do I have such a hard time finding women? - thegirlwhoownstheworld
Women are like SUH-LAVES to scent so the more you smell like popcorn or chocolate, the more she’ll wanna LICK YOU, amiright? Try some Night Attack with Guarana today show the ladies you’re revved up ‘n ready to GO!!!
Does sex-in-public-places “thing” count as a fetish or just narcissism complex? – Twitter User
Some people like extreme sports, some people like extreme SEX!!! Ur overthinking it bro, but we got you covered with SNAKE PEEL shower gel so that you’re manstank doesn’t stop her in the public bathroom, TGI Friday’s parking lot, whereEVER!!!!
Dear Axe, How do I know when things have moved beyond casual dating and into “something serious?” – Curious Boi
If she sticks 2 u like a magnet, 2 intense. Like honey, just right. Like a Post-It, LETTER GO.
What should I do about my sad suburban existence? - stillexperience
Watch our interview with TED, talking Teddy Bear who knows a thing or 2 about the ladies – maybe it’ll spark something in you ;)
Should I move halfway around the world (from Eastern US to Melbourne) for a shot at love that may or may not even work out? – Anonymous
As anyone who’s worn AXE on their musky parts knows, love comes to YOU like gnats come to open cans of MIKE’S HARD at a bbq. Don’t move for IT.
-Becky Lang based this off Axe’s real Facebook page communications.
