Thirteen years have passed, so I think there’s enough emotional distance now for me to talk about Halloween 1999—specifically, my costume, which was “insurance salesman.”
I don’t know what combination of books, TV, and corny old jokes I pieced together to conclude that “insurance salesman” was the most hilarious coupling of words the English language had to offer, but I also remember goofily announcing that I was an insurance salesman during an improv game at drama camp that summer, so this wasn’t an isolated incident. I do recall that I found it the very pinnacle of comedy to go door to door asking for candy dressed as someone who goes door to door for a living.
But why MAN, though? We may never know, but at least my parents were fully supportive, even if they privately whispered that they had a coupla weird kids on their hands. And it does kind of give me something in common with Bill Haverchuck.