Top 5 Objects in My Apartment I Personify Now That I Live Alone
1. The Couch:
When I return home from vacations I say something like, “Couch – did you miss me!” while sitting on it in a little ball and rubbing my cheek on its microfiber. I also catch myself saying things like, “I should get home, my couch feels neglected lately” absentmindedly to co-workers with kids.
2. A hat:
I lost my hat for 2 days and then wore it extra for 2 so we would not experience separation anxiety.
3. The fridge:
Sometimes I run into my fridge with my shoulder when walking around a corner and then glare at it the way two kids do when running into one another racing down the stairs for lunch.
Sometimes they lean against one another like they are lovers and they have a whole dramatic romance when I leave the (bath)room.
5. The Bed
I like to imagine that my bed enjoys more dignity now that I have learned to make it every morning. Also, want to learn to make your bed? Live in a studio where an unmade bed may as well be an unraveling chair for guests.