Awards Minneapolis is not going to win

America’s Fewest Airport Terminals Named After Anti-Semites

Cherry Blossom Paradise

America’s Piety Capital

Smoothest City Streets in North America

Sobriety Central

Surf City U.S.A.

America’s Best Parking

Best Cell Phone Reception in America

Most Charitable Attitude Towards Neighboring State Capital

Best Grits

Most Reliable Public Transit in the U.S.

America’s Craziest All-Night Dance Parties

Best Beach Bodies

Least Racist 2011

Most Modest City in America